I have been chatting online and on the phone for the last few weeks to a lovely, kind, warm-hearted , caring, funny, attractive and compatable woman- everything i want in a woman really. I think she is lovely and she says the same about me and we send each other loads of kisses etc so there is a spark there. We haven't met up yet but will do after Christmas. The problem is my lack of self esteem and lack of motivation to do much around and to the house. I am short fat and bald ( think a cross between danny devito and mr pickwick haha) and at times feel less than a man. When the devil on my left shoulder talks to me ( not that i hear voices,i mean metaphorically) it says 'what woman would want you. She'd want a real man not some ugly halfling, not half a man. The angel on my right shoulder says 'but Peter, you are charming, funny, you have loads of interests, you have 2 houses, loads of money, you are kind, ,caring, fun to be with and , though i say it myself, a nice person. The catch is that even if she does accept the way i look ( she's seen my pictures and though i do slightly doctor the dating profile she knows what to expect ) when she sees my house and lack of motivation i have in doing much to it ( i'd say it is halfway to being in a state that most women would expect ) it wouldn't surprise me if she ditches me; but to get me to do much /get it done i need the love of a good woman. After a lifetime of being on my own i can't really go on without the loving company of a soulmate ( or as near as can be). Loneliness and lack of self esteem has eaten away at my soul for most of my life and i can't take it much longer. However if this relationship does work out i would be the happiest man alive since Mr Happy won 'The happiest man in the world 'title '10 years running.