Lilodian4Ever.

I appreciate where you're coming from, but if I can be honest... I do find your comments hurtful. It may be that you've done a ton of work, have processed your past, and are now in a good, forgiving place. Not everyone is there yet, and, to me, the things you wrote sound a lot like what I heard growing up - which is that my feelings and experiences don't matter, it doesn't matter how terribly people treat me, my job is to suck it up and get over it. And if I don't, clearly there's something wrong with me (rather than acknowledging that there's something wrong with the person being abusive!).

I don't mean to attack you, but wanted to let you know how that all came across, at least to me.

And, as for the original post - yes! I heard that too (about crying). I can't think of specific instances, but it resonates strongly with me. I also got told that "nobody loves you" when I cried (as in, I would be crying and say "nobody loves me!" - this would be at 4-5 years old) and my mom would reply with great sarcasm, "That's right, nobody loves you!". She'd also say, "Little Sarah Bernhardt, you're breaking my heart" and say things about "crocodile tears" as well.

I don't know that *this* stuff *is* what I'm angry about, though I think it's interesting to see how many people here experienced similar things. I think I tend to be more upset about the big picture, ALL the stuff taken together, of which this is only a small piece. I'm not sure how to say it... like, this was a small indicator of a much bigger pattern of interaction, and just looking at this one piece alone (like most of the pieces, in isolation) doesn't necessarily look catastrophic to me - but when you put them all together and see the big picture, it feels pretty darn devastating