Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneDoeII
I have moments like this from time to time. More often than I would like, I'm afraid. I feel ungrateful when I feel this way because the reality is, there are people tossing and turning and waking up in the middle of the night out there because they have no income and wonder where the money to purchase food for breakfast for their family will come from in the morning. I begin counting my blessings...
Still, I hear ya because sometimes even that doesn't work. I'm in my mid forties and I find myself envious of those that are closer to retirement than I am too as well as those who have never worked a day in their lives and will not ever have to do so. There are days (due to my anxiety) when I am at work that from the moment I arrive until I leave, I am wired, on edge and feel like I want to throw up. Those days are rough because I want to be anywhere but there doing anything but that but it's confusing too because I have no idea what I want to do instead. You know?
Inevitably though, the feelings pass. There are days when it's okay and I realize that another day is behind me and I got through and maybe even helped a few people along the way and it's not so bad. I detest feeling anxious at work, I mean you're there for 8 hours of your day and often times (for me anyway) the anxiety doesn't just shrivel up and go away as soon as I'm off work; it spills into the rest of my evening and then invades my sleep!
So, on those rough days when I wake up fitful from lack of sleep because of all my worrying, I just try and keep my head down and barrel through and pray A LOT! When the day is over, I literally look at it as survival and count that as one of my blessings too because I cannot help the way I feel about this, no matter whether people who are jobless out there have it worse than me or not. You know?
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I had a dream last night where I was at a college graduation and a man in his 20s came up to me and said, "I'm retiring soon!" LOL I felt jealous even in my dream!
I feel the same way, I even had anxiety during school and it got worse in high school. I felt on edge the entire day, and that continued into my first few jobs or volunteering gigs. I hope I'll just stop caring so much about it one day, but I guess that feeling of anxiety is the feeling of wanting to do a good job and not mess up, which is kind of a good thing, but it can also get in the way a lot. So having to find that inner balance is the trick. Not caring so much, but caring to still do a good job. I read a line that made me feel better, it said "Mediocrity is everywhere in the workplace." I'm a perfectionist who stresses out big time, so just reading that made me feel a little better LOL
I think its the workplace politics that get to me most. Being in a serving role always made me feel less than, no matter what it was. Always having to please a customer, makes me want to run out of there like I'm on fire.
Right now I'm 22 and I'm dealing with just trying to land a job. The whole "needing experience without relevant experience" is a difficult hurdle.