thank u ma'am

i have to keep going to the center ....they are the closest and we have history so all the insurance carrier will care about and every OKed referral will be to them

i can not blame them the concept is strange to them but hell after seeing me that many times old records to review come on ......death is not a option but truly always is (failing to admit that is crazy) .....if they want babble can think of a million reason to die but as long as can think of one reason to live play the hand see where it goes so there stop asking i am not a kill myself kind of person i am more of find every bad person i can ( u know the ones hit wife beats kids ....and the other stuff i will not list so i do not get more anger ) and take them out ..........that is all in the file i tell them that flat out first time i meet them ....i have years and years and years of pent up anger from life and all the has happen most of it by the doctors (the pills side effects sucked and i thought i was just normal life until i started reading 3 months ago about the pills and interaction studies)

fricken fraging dumb *** locked into one set mind of thinking doctors ...........u know what i am sorry for the rant thanks for letting me get it out .........this is crazy i am killing myself to stay sane when it will just end up drugging me

not bipolar 1 or 2 little of both
depressions that will lock me into sleep for weeks like a hibernation of a bear with rage (flight or fight i will always pick fight will vs will ) anger is the only thing that will get me out of bed a slow burn fight back and win attitude

when i am happy i am happy and want to make everyone happy so i spend the cash i have on me and offer help where ever i can share be kind open friendly smiling goofy playful

or i am numb and logical reading and studying on what ever subjects cross my mind at the time reducing my risk of interact with ppl and taken on projects sometimes 4 to 6 to keep mind going and from getting bored

that is the extent of my personality i simplified everything to keep under control over the years ........i have no major wants or desires other then make some money so not a burden on family for all my life (my rewards are the end of the world and getting to let anger out there or wait until 80 going to vegas hiring 8 of the best hookers i can legally and sex until my heart goes out) i ask a priest it is not killing yourself then he asked me to leave the church