kay so i dont even know what i am feeling, or what i am. I just barely feel anything anymore and when i feel i just so sad? Miserable? Depressed? I dont think i can.describe it its like theres nothing else around like the roof just crashed on my head and i am being smashed, like there is no objective. Like i just dont deserve hapiness. And i seryously think i will never be able to be happy because i havent felt it in a long ling time. Sure there are those not-so-bad-days that i dont feel numb or miserable, just like normal i guess, even a little content. But i am telling you its last a short amount of time. Lol really. And now here i am, just finished my self harm. And i just enjoy the pain. I look at the cuts and i just press my fingers and watever i have next to me so that it hurts. And i love it. I seriously love it. I hit the bottom