Thank you for the support! It's kind of funny - we both grew up with pretty awful fathers, but our home lives were so different. My father blew all his money on toys and drugs for himself and it was a noisy, chaotic, messy household. BF's father was more controlling and regimented, appearances were everything. His parents did the silent treatment.

So my tendency is to loudly proclaim and he just withdraws. It's hard to find a middle ground!

And I didn't think he had backed into my car - I assumed someone had hit and run me in a parking lot or on the street and spent the day retracing my steps to see if I could find pieces of my car and figure out where it had happened. I couldn't believe it turned out to be him. Who does that and forgets to bring it up??? He's had people hit and run him and cause very serious damage, you'd think he would know what it felt like!

We talked about it again this morning. He understands now why I feel the way I do. I am not cooking for them. He says I don't have to go if I don't want to and that if I am going to be angry, I should stay home. I feel better about it, even if the situation hasn't really changed.