I started off a few weeks ago (when there was still time to apply for beginning of the year positions) with a lot of optimism and drive. I was determined to get a paid internship in the city...
But then I started researching... and I was finding very few positions in my field. So I thought, what the heck I'll expand my search! I want to be in productive and creative sides of theatre and the arts... but who cares, I'll do admin work to get paid.
So I searched for those jobs... and kept coming up blank. I went to websites of companies I want to work for... but none of them paid. Did you all know that it's technically illegal not to pay your workers?
Anyways, I got some interviews... one of which didn't pan out bc I can't afford to work for what they paid, and the other I haven't heard back from. I was supposed to apply for 30 jobs minimum (this is a recommended number in a job search) and I only managed 4.
I feel drained and apathetic. I don't really want to do admin work, especially with no experience and yet I know this may be the only paid way into the business. I feel like such a loser for having let this go so late. I got out of school in spring, but I've been dragging my feet. It's hard to get out of the house.
The worst thing about all this is that I've been depressed for so long I don't even know what career path I'm passionate about. It used to be theatre, but now I have little motivation. Sometimes I dream of just flying away somewhere... rather than staying here, staying depressed, and getting paid nothing to file documents...I don't know what to do.
I am not in therapy, but I think of going back except that it feels sometimes like a crutch. What can I do? I'm living at home, and am miserable.