I know it's not uncommon to become irritated with family, especially during the holidays. That's one reason why I agreed to housesit for a friend, so I could be away from my mother.
However, these feelings have no proper venting place... My mother is going through a rough time because her dad is going to pass away very soon of a fast working cancer that we only found out about a month ago.
I feel so selfish to be feeling this way, and yet I also don't know how to act around death. I am not close to my grandfather, bc he lives far away... and also bc his religion pretty much took over his personality. He's a lovely sweet man and will be missed... but I'm used to his absence.
I feel like such an unnatural person... often when something truly terrible happens to people I don't feel bad. When my cat died, I wept. When I watch a sad movie, I cry. But when this stuff happens, I feel confused. I guess I don't love my family members strong enough to grieve...
I want to do the best possible thing for my mom, even if it's not her idea of what is best. I think that would be for me to be away from her for a while. My anger and irritation towards her might subside if we didn't live together.
But I wonder if she thinks I'm cruel for not being with her now...