Hi everyone,

This is the first time i am using a forum to describe how i feel.

Infact it was only 2 days ago when i was feeling suicidal and ended up in A&E to seek help i found out i might be suffering from DID and self sabotage. I have self harmed and also destroyed every happy moment in my life at different stages. I am 31 years old and aince childhood have been doing it and never understood why. I have cut myself ever since i can remember, i have on numerous occassions for no reason whatsoever tried to ruin things for myself. I will then pick myself up and start over and make everything better around me and then bang, i will go and destroy it again. I always find a way to ruin it even though it is not needed.

I am now scared that no matter what i do in life i will always find a way to destroy my hard earned life as i have already done over and over. I have finally reached my breaking point where i cant carry on and have no clue how to take my life forward.

I am lost. So very lost.