I told my t recently, I never really understood why he and previous ts told me to cut contact with the family, that it was making their (the ts) job harder to bring me forward. But the past few years on here, i have seen people return from family visits like theyve been thru a freakin wood chipper. Its like watching a horror movie - i dont really understand what happens behind that door, but i'm in the audience screaming, dont go in there, and im trying to tell myself its only a movie. I mean it doesnt feel real, it doesnt make sense, but i have to go with, my life IS starting to feel a little bit better if i do stay away from that door. Its like i have to accept that its a mind freak.