I'm sorry about your loss. Losing a baby has got to be one of the hardest things to go through. And facing the idea, after losing the baby, that you most likely can't get pregnant again or the same thing will happen must make it ten times worse.

One of the first things you said is that you see pregnant women or a new baby everywhere you go. This is what I call the "new car" phenomenon. Ever buy a new car and suddenly start seeing it everywhere? Up until you owned that car, you never paid any attention to that type of car before, but now that you own it, it's suddenly become important to you and you start to subconsciously look for it.

I would wager this is what's happening to you. You're seeking out mothers and babies because of your experience, and you're feeling jealous because you still have the pain of your experience and the possibility that you might never get to have your own child. It sucks.

Maybe your mind is telling you that it's time to examine your pain again and find a way to accept what has happened. (I know, easier said that done.) And maybe you can find a way to have what you want without putting your health at risk.