I am afraid there is not really a way other than to not enable the drinking and not tolerate the behavior that results from it. An alcoholic has to be left to suffer the natural consequences of their actions. They have to want to be sober and consequences can lead to the proverbial bottom.

One consequence could be his wife leaves him. That can't be an idle threat though. I would suggest that the wife go to Alanon for her own support.

There is one thing called an intervention that sometimes works. It worked with my Dad. It has to be done with a professional. You hire a professional who has done these things and knows all about addiction and then I think everyone who is going to be involved besides the alcoholic meets once to discuss how to do it. So then the counselor, the alcoholic, the family, other family such as you, a few close friends, all get together for a meeting. Each person has to really think about what they want to say beforehand. You don't attack the alcoholic but each person takes his turn telling him what they think about his drinking and how it affects them. Sometimes with all of that hitting him at once and maybe not realizing how his behavior has had such a huge impact on others it will prompt him to get help. No guarantees.

I think it worked with my Dad because he saw this was the last chance with my Mom. If this didn't work she was gone and he knew it. I can't remember all the details as it was 25 years ago. he hasn't had a drink since. Very proud of him.