Scarlet, I'm so sorry you're in this pain. I have no advice. I have no bio children because medical, psychological and genetic issues made getting pregnant an unsafe choice for both me and a child. But there is no shortage of children in my life and out there and needing the love and support of an adult who has their stuff together enough to give it.

As granite said, you're being amazingly responsible with this heart-rending decision. I'm impressed as all get out with you, as always. Sending you bountiful hugs and love and hope and good wishes.