I read lots of mental disease material previously by books, mostly online after I was hospitalized (about 20 days), many of which was written by psychiatrists. It was mean and scary. Those psychiatrists enjoyed themselves depicting "patients" as weird, bizarre, not understandable, dangerous...I was scared about the image and prognosis of "mental patients", and being categorized into this "patient" category. I suffered intense anxiety after reading those psychiatrists' subjective claims. Moreover, some psychiatrists "defined" patients who are scared of seeing psychiatrists or against them are real mental patients, patients who refuse their "disease" are real patients because they are "lack of cognition, judgement".. So it seems I have to accept whatever psychiatrists say and accept the system of psychiatry no matter how ugly it acts. That left me continuously painful stress or anxiety.

I read some criteria of DSM after being release from hospital, and found the symptoms of my diagnosis were not true. Back then I had a very bad relationship with my parents. They told the psychiatrist I smelled rotten rat in my room, and it seemed they didn't mention they smelled it as well. The psychiatrist considered it as my hallucination. But the smell was true. Later my parents found the rotten rat on the root above my room. When I was little, a few adults, who were my relatives and neighbours, deceived me that I was not born by my parents. I believed it somehow. My parents told the situation to the psychiatrist. During my detention in the hospital the psychiatrist told me that I have “non-descent delusion" that I don't believe I was born by my parents, and the bad relationship with my parents was due to this delusion. I explained to her that I was told by other adults when I was young, and I don't care about it. The bad relationship was because of conflicts happened between me and my parents during daily lives, nothing to do with whether I was born by my parents or not. The psychiatrist was angry to hear that , and said "No! all the bad relationship between you and your parents is because you think you was not born by your parents!" I ask her to allow me to have a DNA test. She told me, "Don't do it. The DNA test is expensive."...After being released, I asked my parents to do the DNA test with me. They agreed. Later I received the result I was born by my parents. I totally accepted it. But the relationship between me and my parents became even worse.

My parents found a psychologist doctor for me. I told her what happened previously and the diagnosing symptoms. Later I found she happened to be the vice director of mental hospital I was in. She was angry about my parents, and told them that I was misdiagnosed. I suffered depression previously.