Basically what triggered me is that I have been playing this new video game with my younger brothers, and I have been losing ALMOST EVERY SINGLE TIME. Yeah sure it's just a game and I usually don't let these things get to me, but the frequency is just too much and I am thinking it may have something to do with my slow processing speed(according to an intelligence test I took). I pretty much suck at EVERYTHING in life. I sucked academically, I suck at sports, I suck at conversations, I can't get girls, I am not creative, ****ING EVERYTHING. I am SICK of always feeling inferior to everyone, it has gotten to the point where I generally hate being around people. I honestly see no point in associating with anyone if they always look down on me, since my main motivation for even being social at all is to show off and get recognition. All I ever get is either disrespect and pity if I am lucky.

Oh and girls in particular make my life a living hell. I constantly find myself attracted to them but they are always so ****ing judgmental basically unless you are socially graceful and smart and the same age as them they want you to stay away. They pretend to be nice out of pity but I always hear them talking **** about guys who talk to them. I REFUSE to be one of those guys. But of course, the only alternative is to be quiet and not get any attention at all. And that's what I usually do.

Is this all I have to look forward to???