Hi, I'm Trina,

I was prev. on another bipolar forum off & on (I was ClearlyMe), and at one time it was great but seems to have gone basically inactive; everybody's left it, nearly. I ran across PC, and thought I'd give this place a try.

I've had problems all my life. My mom was probably bipolar but never diagnosed or treated, so home life was complete chaos & the family focused completely on working around her & keeping everything else as normal as possible.

For a long time I kept everything to myself, went through some therapy in my 20s but didn't get a formal diagnosis of depression/panic/anxiety disorders till I was about 32. Then, at about 44, I was rediagnosed as bipolar II (have been since redxd to mixed as my mood changes are sometimes ultrarapid).

Recently I saw something on tv about Asperger's Syndrome (far high-functioning end of the autistic spectrum, manifests particularly in social problems), and started looking into it. I think I may have Asperger's, in addition to or instead of the bp I don't know, but my therapist's finding someone to do an assessment with me. It would explain a lot of things about how my life's been, and why I've had troubles coping with some particular areas.

Three yrs. ago I got out of a marriage that was very verbally abusive and escalating. In the first year after I left him, I moved 4 times, have been in my own apt. for a year and a half and will have to move (long story; apt. complex ownership change, they're renovating & raising the rents big time). I haven't gotten to a very functional place in my head, I'm really just hanging-on, and hoping to get myself together enough to make some changes I need to & feel happier.

Right now, mostly I'm depressed & anxious and spend a lot of my time reading to avoid all the negative feelings. I guess this tells a lot about who I am . . . .

Anyway, here I am, and glad to be here.