A big part of the problem is that since I am so inferior, I naturally see attractive intelligent and charismatic people as a threat to my self esteem and I tend to just have this deep seeded resentment towards them. My brother is an example, he is intelligent and charismatic and has this way of just flaunting it all the time, and I honestly hate being around him. No matter how nice he tries to be to me, I resent him because he is a reminder of how much I suck.