Maybe think about the here and now, You have a court date coming up, so using "your" type of pot or oil or whatever isn't legal or you would not be in this situation.

Instead of all this focus on how you can buy seeds and supply yourself and how you can't do this or that now for a variety of reasons ( job wise, because you got arrested and now need a lawyer) You mention living off of a very small amount of money a month. Are you on assistance? If so I am sure they will be able to set you on the right track to coping and living a life that does not include worries about police and court dates, But only YOU can decide to improve your life and what direction your wanting your life to head in. If you choose to continue your current path I would assume you will probably just continue to have legal trouble. Why not focus on getting a grip and find a way to deal with your life in a legal manner ?

Not all medications cost hundreds of dollars, Big Pharma offers free meds to many people that just can't afford to buy them.

So instead of the constant talk of what the arrest has taken away from you , maybe you should put even half that focus on figuring out your life and how you can help yourself.

Just my opinion of course.