Now when it´s christmas my thoughts about not having had a relationship are more frequent. I don´t quite know why I never did, I was in therapy partly because of this but we didn´t get to discuss it as I was terminated prematurely.

My life could perhaps look quite "normal" from the outside, I have a university degree, my own apartment, I´ve moved a couple of times to study in different cities. But something has gone wrong along the road so to speak. It´s not a matter of any sexual trauma or something like that though.

I feel like I´m mentally stuck in my teenage years when you´re about to find out how you are and to be "your own person". In my teenage years I were never interested or even thought about boys or meeting someone and later on the relationship thing has become more and more of a sorrow. I feel unnormal not having had a relationship, I´ve never dated anyone either. I´ve been on my own for so long that I now can´t really understand what a relationship would be like and I can´t see myself together with someone.

Of course I don´t want to spend my future all by myself but there´s some kind of mental issue going on I think. It´s not a matter of "just getting out there and meet or date someone", then I hadn´t post a thread in here.

There could be many explanations and I know my T told me I was a bit emotionally distant. I´ve partly lost the emotional side of myself but I don´t know how or why. Often these problems stems from your childhood experiences and I think mine most probably do.

Is there anyone here who recognises this? Have you gotten any explanations by talking about it in therapy - the thing never having had a relationship? What could it possibly mean and what are possible causes. I´d really like to talk about this, especially with those of you who experience the same thing.