Ok, so the whole money thing does confuse me some.

What is actually in your name? The car, yes. The place you live in? Is it in your name or hers, because you've said that the properties were left to you when your father passed away.

What do you currently pay towards living expenses, and what does your mom currently pay? Don't look at the past. Who pays for things NOW. Do you make equal payments towards the mortage roughly, or who primarily pays it? Same with groceries and bills.

Your mom is going to continue with the threats and yelling and all sorts of awful behaviour.

Each time you give in, allows her to keep going. It will only stop after you make it a consistent habit to flat out ignore what she's demanding and do what you want anyway. It will take a long time and you'll probably end up with loooots of headaches, but you just have to stick with it. Don't even bother with the arguments because that shows her that she's getting to you - and that she's getting heard.

What can she actually do, really? If she stops putting money towards the place you live in if she's contributing to it, then well, she's putting herself at risk of losing the place eventually too. If the place is in your name then she CANNOT legally kick you out. If she wants to up and leave she's welcome to. If she stops helping you out with your car payments, then what would happen? You can just sell the car and get by without on for a while.

What else can she ACTUALLY do aside from make your life miserable by being incredibly vocal?

There's nothing really. The only power she has over you is the power that you give her, and yes, it's hard to take it back.

She'll rebel lots. She'll keep going. She is old, and stubborn, and doesn't know any other way to live, so she's not going to stop easily and she may never completely stop. But eventually she'll give up, because ultimately what's important to her is to have you as close to her as possible.

It'll just take a lot of persistence to show her that you'll be closer to her when you're happy and living your life how you want; and that the more she smothers you the less close you'll be. It'll take a long time because in her mind it won't make sense as a healthy relationship doesn't make sense to her.

Also, just a possible tip - when you start selling off some of your stuff, be prepared for your mom to do some drastic and stupid things such as throwing out or breaking some of your property.

But you can do this. Just refuse to give her answers to things like "where are you going". "I'm going out mom, I'll be back later. Goodbye." and then walk out the door. What's she going to do? Yell at you when you get back? Sure. But it doesn't mean you have to tell her anything. And sure, most of the time in a healthy relationship you'd just tell someone where you were off to... but this isn't a healthy relationship and this is an example of how she can confirm to herself that she can control you and has a right to know everything you're doing.

And really... if she keeps bringing up sex, start telling her full out lies. She's worried that you're going to have sex with a non-virgin person of a different racial background? Then tell her the next time that you've been out for quite a well... tell her that you with a BDSM meet and hooked up with a... X(pick a race) dominatrix for the night and that next time you're thinking of taking part in a group activity Will she believe you? No probably not, but it'll certainly make her uncomfortable!