Dear GPG -- You asked:

Am I the one doing it all jack?

In post after post, the answer is yes -- you are the one doing it all.

The only person you can change is yourself. It's a bitter pill to swallow, I know, but you cannot change him, as you have found. So now your choices are to go on doing what you do, resentfully, or to put an end to the situation. I don't think you are ready for that, but eventually you may be.