Let me start off saying that presently im very sad and dont feel like caring about grammar aswell as this story will just be things from my head and not a well written article. If i wnated, i could but it would take me 6 hours to transform what i want to say into a typed story and thats 6 hours i dont want to spend daunting about how depressed my life is.*i just need to get this out because i just feel like someone needs to know my story and please respond if you read*

Im a 14 year old living in the United States. My whole life seems like a un-controllable rollercoaster with many ups and downs. At the age of 8, i started feeling depressed after my parents got divorced because of my dads gambling problem. I then overcme it when i turned 10. Beginning highschool this year, i started feeling happy and then out of place. I noticed that i dont know who i am. I noticed that im a mean kid that likes to cause trouble, a kid that is shy when not at school, a kid that tries his hardest, a kid that wants a future, a kid that is very nice, very thoughtful, very caring, very judgmental. These many things make it harder and harder to find who i really am. I feel that im annoying and pretty funny and i cant change that but i want too. I want to stop being so funny, mean, and annoying and be serious, smart, and more mature. The person i am is intensely opposite from the one that is typing this. Its hard to explain what i am trying to say here but i just need to get my thoughts out there. I feel that if someone reads this they know who i am because everyone else doesnt know my story. So right now, Im going to explain my story and this story has no reasoning as to why im explaining it. Here it goes- My dream right now is to get good grades and then go to a good college. My dream colleges are:MIT, Harvard, Brown, Columbia, and NYU. I currently am doing ok with a 3.4 gpa right now and i got all a’s and b’s. I want to be with smart people, i want to be a smart person, and i want a good life. I want to be confident to who i am. Im struggling with many things that are going on in my life. Overwhelmed you might say. This christmas(today), i didnt enjoy it at all. I got 700 dollars and a nyu sweatshirt because its my dream school. My mom got it for me(shes the parent i live with). The 700 dollars was all from cousins and other relatives. My mom had a hard time geeting me this sweatshirt because shes been struggling at work. Today we were supposed to go to our relatives to eat christmas dinner/lunch. It didnt happen because my mom doesnt have money to get anyone gifts.I got my dad a gift which was a travel pillow and two days ago he asked if he could borrow 200 dollars. so i gave him that. Right now my family is struggling, my mom cares for my brother who is in college and me. We live in a descent sized house but we are having trouble. Iw ant to help out but i dont know where to start. I got 700 dollars and i was thinking on to buying a macbook to try to learn programming therefore i could program as a teenager for money. I want a future, my future?, to live in a nice house in nyc with a nice wife/girlfriend and plenty of friends. I would like money to get my mom out of this debt. Give my whole family a good life basically. So i guess you can say my goal is to get a good adult life with a good house and family. The motive for typing this is me crying over the poverty of my family and others. At school, I dont have friends, just people i attempt to talk too. i dont know where to sit so i sit near someone i know but are not my friends. It absolutely kills me knowing that these people treat me the way they do without knowing my story. I feel like i just got to let it out. Who ever is reading this would be the only one that will know the whole story of my life. My family, the students ive been with my whole life(14 years) only know half. This is the whole. I hope someone understands. I want to be a person, not a mind. I want to have a life and not an interaction if the other sentence didnt make sense.

Thanks and Merry Christmas/New Year!