Do you really wish you didn't know about your relationship problems?

I've discovered I'm lovable and not weird. And, that I'm not who I thought, I'm actually very soft and sensitive and feminine. And I want normal things that I don't have, like close relationships. But on the sad side I've discovered that I missed a lot, like a family and everything that should be. I've not been true to myself my entire life, and now I'm seeing the consequences.