Thanks for the replies. I guess for me it seems odd that I will need to talk to her again. That at some point I need to walk into her office and sit across from her and respond. However, this is not a conversation, this is not a back and forth type on interaction. No. Instead it is me sitting being interrogated and investigated. I know it shouldn't feel like this but it does. She is going to ask me about my Christmas with my family and I'm going to be embarrassed to let her know what went on. I'm sure her holiday was lovely with her family. I'm sure she is, as we all do, some what dreading the return to work. It is disgusting to me to think that she sighs as she enters the room and dusts things off for her first client, as I count down the moments until my bottom hits that couch. I feel disappointed that I've let myself get this upset about it, but I know that going in with these feelings I will be a bear to work with. It will undoubtedly take a good little while before I can enter her room ready to talk about the hard things in my life and that's such a waste of time for her I feel like I'm failing myself out of therapy