Hugs Whateverforever,

As a recovered alcoholic, i know what it's like to get absolutely trashed in order to feel better. It is temporary relief, but it puts you into a deeper hell than what you were feeling before you self-medicated.

I know what it's like to feel that guilt. But our bpd makes it so much worse. I'm just learning about my own bpd and how i feel tar on my soul, and this is after being in therapy for years. So just remember that you are not alone.