I just joined this group today and this is my very first post. I have been crying all day and hurting so bad. I am on meds, in therapy and still feel hopeless. I even tried to sit outside a while today and talk to my dearest partner who died three years ago which sometimes helps. Today it didn't. I started reading a book called darkness visible which was only the first chapter so I ordered the book used. I cannot do anything when this darkness gets at its worst. So painful even my closest friends and children cannot understand me. They say oh you will get over it etc but it has been with me for years. No one except someone suffering this illness can even comprehend the torture and hell it brings. It hurst so bad I know. I try and figure out where it comes from and what I did to get like this? Feel free to write back if you want, hugs sad eyed lady