My husband and I are separated, for 4 months now, we sleep on opposite sides of the house, we do not speak to each other and send texts or email as our only way of communication. Some days I prefer it that way. When we do talk, we fight. This is horrible for our kids. What Is Worse is that sitting 150 paces from out house is a vacant house he bought almost three years ago, but he refuses to leave. He writes that he doesn't want to leave the house with his wife and children...blah bs blah. I believe it is only games he's playing, continually lying to me so that he doesn't look like he left, should we formally divorce. He keeps his food separate in the kitchen, all of a sudden is documenting in email anytime he spends $5...like I care, he never did this before. Almost everything is separated, mail, bank, etc ...those he has sent to his other house. Because I have been home with the kids for many years, he has been so kind to tell me he will give me some money and still pay the bills (he gave me $100 in eight weeks). What a guy. I am by far NO angel here. Some of this is deserved, but not like this.

My mood is erratic every minute of the day. One minute I want to fix my marriage, the next I never want to see him again. The only time I am at peace is when I have the kids and he is nowhere around. And that rarely happens.

I need a therapist 3 feet from me at all times. I cannot afford one. So I am hoping to find help on here. Plus I can write on here at 3am...