I'm not looking for people to make me feel guilty about my relationship. I am trying my best to do the right thing, but "right" is hard thing to define and sometimes choose. O already made my choice for now. I'm just looking for support during this time to keep my hopes up. I do not wish to be criticized.

CLARIFICATION:

To the people who don't understand the time limit:

1. My mom had issues getting pregnant with me (5 years)
2. My mom had 3 hysterectomes at age 32
3. My little sister had an ovary removed at age 24
4. Infertility rums in my family
5. I have a tumor on my pituitary
6. I have a nonfunctional cyst on my ovary
7. I have been trying to get pregnant naturally for 9 years
8. My hormones are severely messed up
9. My fiance's grandma is 92 years old. She might not live to meet her great grandchild.

About DBT: I might not be able to go due to the county not allowing me to see my T at the same time. That is being worked out by my T, Pdoc, and the director of county.

To everyone who is concerned about my fiance:

1. Everyone in my life (including his family) know everything about the abuse. It's not a secret.
2. If my treatment team is 100% honest with me and will NOT hold back their opinion just to spare me hurt feelings. And they DO support my decision to get pregnant with my fiance. BUT, they really want my fiance in therapy so that he gets the support he needs, as well as, learning coping skills to express his feelings appropriately.
3. I am completely honest with my fiance, even to the point that I have relayed all the concerns people have posted here.

***TRIGGER WARNING***
While these thing are not excusable by any means in any situation, I feel the need to define the abuse:

* Breaking my elbow: it was a stressful day for my fiance, and I was in a depressive episode. I went out to lunch with my family which upset him. He came home (my family was there), and he started yelling at me. It was too much for me, so I decided to leave. I went to the kitchen to get my dog's meds and he followed me. He kept apologizing and was begging me not to leave. He put his arms around me so I couldn't move which I started struggling to get free. My mom pulled him off me, we went outside to her car and called the police. My arm started hurting so the police told me to go to the hospital to get it checked out. Everyone thought it was a bone bruise (even thw doctors) especially since he wasn't trying to physically hurt me. It turned out that he broke my elbow. I wound up going to the crisis house to have time to think about my options. He choose (wasn't forced) to go to anger management. I decided to go back home. He would have stayed in therapy, but the guy was horrible.

* Controlling: My fiance used to try to control every aspect of my life. It was so bad that I lost all my friends and supports. He refused to take me to the dentist, doctors, even the emergency room. He didn't want my to see a T or Pdoc, or be on psych meds. That has all changed. He is supportive of me on meds, and he encourages me to see my T. He doesn't like my Pdoc, but he puts up with her. He now allows me to leave the house with out him and socialize on my own. He has even been teaching me to drive again and is planning on getting me my own car early next year.

* Lying: He has never lied to me about anything major. But lying is still lying. He has improved a lot in this area, but not 100%.

* Verbal abuse: This is where our issues still lie. When I get upset, he gets upset. Instead of respecting me by either giving me my space or by listening to me, he takes it personally. He likes to make the fight go in circles. I get to the point of asking him to leave me alone, and he doesn't. So I wind up having to lock him out of the bedroom. He still yells at me for about another 30mins and then finally leaves me alone. After another 30mins of quiet, we're both fine and talk it out. He just needs to learn to give my space.