Hey shezbut, yes, that's kind of what I was intending.

Not so much that we should recognize the good parts of childhood, but that we should recognize the good parts of the people who we feel have wronged us. I'm not frustrated with BPD or with people having BPD.

I understand that everyone is in different stages of recovery and healing, and yes, I should have phrased what I wrote in a less imposing tone. Perhaps I was too imposing. Also, what you guys do with your lives is your business, not mine. So, I was in the wrong, and for that, I apologize.

However, my point still holds true, I think. You and perhaps everyone else on here knows, deep down, that wallowing/complaining/venting, though normal, will only help you temporarily. We can't keep complaining about the past forever, right ? At some point, we have to move on, no ?

What will really help long-term is to confront the traumas more directly and process them more deeply, so that we can get a more complete understanding of what happened. Let's face it - a father hitting a child is not simply a case of a father being evil and sadistic and not caring about the consequences. There is a LOT MORE going on in a situation like that. That's what I was trying to get at: look at ALL the factors and circumstances that may have surrounded the event in question. By doing so, you will be able to fully understand what happened, and hopefully be able to move on from it.

I can choose to simply say, "Yes, I understand your pain" and offer a shoulder to cry on, but I think that that would be a disservice to you, because I know I can do better. So, I suggested what I thought would be a better way to deal with these traumas.

Consider this analogy: Mama birdie and baby birdie are perched atop a branch. Baby birdie is learning how to fly, but is scared s***less. Mama can choose to coddle baby birdie forever, or she can shove him off the branch and have him learn how to fly.