Where do I begin? Don't really want to tell my life story here. I have a plethora of emotional and physical problems. Seems like over the past 2-3 months I began waking up every day with all kinds of aches and pains, especially in my neck. Why? I don't know. I am dizzy a lot, I feel like I am dying!

However most of my symptoms seem random and unexplainable. I went to a cardiologist, he had the good sense to not put me through tons of testing that would reveal nothing. So I have come to the conclusion that all or most of my symptoms are psychosomatic. But what do you do when you honestly feel like death and you don't know why??? It's very frustrating.

Sometimes I think if I could start an exercise program, very slowly, things could improve. It's scary though, I fear that I am too out of shape and might just collapse and that terrifies me. How do I get past that???

Emotionally I am a train wreck, made myself miserable for Christmas. Nothing seemed to go right. I do blame myself. My life is nothing like I would like it to be. That is a fairly profound thing to say. I do have horrible intrusive thoughts, the ideas just pop into my head of driving off a bridge or other insane thing that could be harmful. Luckily the thoughts do go away fairly quickly. It is very disturbing. This has been going on a long time. I guess I fear driving so much because I think I might impulsively drive off a bridge or have such an anxiety attack that I might pass out or cause an accident. It's no wonder I have such anxiety when driving!

I do think most of these symptoms are a direct result of my brain still being so wacky and recovering from a long term klonopin withdrawal. It's past 22 months off the crap, when is it ever going to end? I also wonder if coming here is making me worse by writing about all my issues and keeping them fresh in my mind. What a mess!