Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiya
Ritual abuse, and/or mind control. It's been plaguing me for 32 years. The images. The fear. The endless cycles of what feel like out of my control programs of certain alters' need to harm. 
I just learned some info that may have put another piece of that puzzle together. I know it is a dangerous topic and one that is often not looked at. I know there are not likely to be any absolutes. I have some leads on books to read, and blogs and therapist's pages to research.
I also found that moving too quickly (and/or without a solid support system), it can land one in Psych. Like last night.
But I feel the need (compulsion?) to talk about it... to connect with others who might understand about it.
Like poking around a ...a.... oh I don't know. puddle that suddenly turns into a sink hole.
One of the things listed on my Dx on discharge this morning was "Disorganized Thoughts". That's a new one for me. I was trying to be as clear as I could be, but sometimes the mouth just wouldn't work... or it would combine two words together and I'd have to start over. Or the dizziness would take over and I'd have to shake it off like a bunch of flies to get some clear thoughts to try and communicate.
I keep spelling backwards in here.
I keep dripping things!
I think I've gone down the rabbit hole. |
Ritual abuse is a hard one. one that sometimes frustrates people here where I live and work. mainly because when people think about that term they think about satanic religion rituals.
it is so hard sometimes on some people now because here in the USA treatment providers can not focus on a person having DID because of religious rituals/practices.
the way the new standards are worded in the DSM 5 is that any ritualistic abuse associated with things like religion or cultural practices. it can be treated but it must not be the focus point for diagnostics.
i still have problems with some of the abuses I went through that were of a repetative/ritualistic nature. how my treatment providers and I deal with it is the same way in which you deal with any other PTSD/trauma related problems..we talk about what happened and we find ways to help me get through the anxiety/fear /nightmares/....just like we do with any other abuse and trauma I went through.
maybe you can talk with your treatment providers, they can help you get through the hard stuff that may not be able to be discussed on here because of controvery and you mentioned.
a thought on the disorganized thoughts and spelling backwards. here in america this is a recognized problem. its called dyslexia. there is help for it. it entails special reading writing classes. I understand this way of life may have been part of your programming but it can still be treated and the treatment is the same as dyslexia. Ive been through it and it works.