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Old Dec 27, 2014, 02:52 AM
Anonymous200265
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilodian4ever View Post
Hey man, so I finally took the time to read your post in more detail and give it more thought.

I understand your predicament very well. This world, these days, can be quite harsh to someone who doesn't fit stereotypical images portrayed by the media. Unfortunately, there is really nothing you or I can do to change that. This condition will prevail.

So, given that we can't change how the world thinks, it follows that we need to look within ourselves to see how we can affect change in our lives. This is going to involve making compromises with ourselves. Maybe we can't be 100% true to ourselves. Maybe we can't be 100% original and authentic, because we need to adapt to the world a bit (how much is up to you), so that we are accepted.

Let's face it, it's unfortunate that we have to change who we are just because of the stereotypes, but it's either that or a lifetime of solitude. Which is better ? I think you know.

You seem to be aware that you're not in the best physical shape. What about exercise ? You mentioned some physical challenges, but are you able to do any kind of exercise ? Exercise really is a miracle drug, and can transform your life like you wouldn't believe. Not only would it improve your health, both physical and emotional, but it would also give you the confidence you feel is lacking. No need to chase after supermodel images … just enough to stay healthy and fit.

Let women see your best self. Let them see you proudly march in complete confidence and comfortable in your own skin. They will be drawn to you like iron filings to a magnet.

As for your values, esp. how to treat women, you're already in the right place, so, if you can add to that some improvement in other areas, you're gonna be Mr. Cassanova !

Give it your best shot, my man !
Thanks for those words. Yes, I am considering working out.

There is one issue though. I think at the end of the day, it is going to take a change throughout my entire life to become that guy.

I don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but as for that compromise here, compromise there and still be 95% yourself, ah, sorry to say, but it doesn't work that way. You cannot be in the middle, it's either be a physical stud with cockiness and attitude or be the kind, gentle, loving, yet physically unattractive guy I am now.

You see, that's what I didn't want to do. I know, once you look great, that feeling I had for women will disappear slowly and I'll become like those other hot guys who date so many women they can't even count how many they've been with.

You said "you decide how much" one will compromise, it doesn't work like that unfortunately. It is literally becoming someone else entirely.

I don't know if you're Christian or religious in any way, but if you are, there's this book called "Destined to Reign" by Joseph Prince. In there he explains how "mixture" will always lead to failure.

In the Bible, in the book of Revelation, even Jesus says that you should be either hot or cold, because if you are lukewarm, He'll spit you out. What He is referring to is those people who are either fully making their lives hell by trying to live up to the ten commandments (the law), failing and then calling upon Him to save them, or those who accept Him as saviour and then have dominion over sin. Those who are in the middle (mixture of law and grace) are the one's who will fail and be judged, because they are choosing a "safe" option.

So, it's either look great and become the proverbial ladies man, or stay this way (100% me). But, compromise will lead to failure.
Hugs from:
Alone & confused