I have a hard time communicating with my bf. I know how I feel, I know what I want to say but the words dnt come out. I find it extremely difficult to live in the moment or do things in the moment. I overthink touching him, or even kissing him. Showing physical emotions is challenging for me. The crazy thing is I want to be in a relationship with him. I know he is the one for me, he loves me, doesn't judge me, he has seen me at my worst and he will loves me and find all the good in me. I just can't find that good in myself. I always have things planned out in my head and then when I see him I shy away. I dnt let people deep into my personal life, and that is creating an barrier for us. All he wants me to do is communicate with him, love him, show him I care, show him I'm there for him and it's like pulling a teeth for me. Anyone can advice me what to do? I'm trying to let go of the pain an hurt I've been holding onto for years this is one of the hardest things I ever did in my life. But I don't want to lose the best man I ever had in my life.