Every day I say to myself, a dozen times or so: "I just want to die. Why can't I just die? Please just let me die." I don't know who I think I'm addressing this to... the wind? But I just keep chanting it... sort-of like a mantra.

As it says in my signature quote below: in other traditions demons are expelled externally. But in my tradition demons are accepted with compassion. A passive death wish might be thought of as a demon of sorts. So how to accept, with compassion, this little demon of passive suicidal thought

When passive suicidal thoughts come up, I smile, & I acknowledge their presence by noting the feeling they create in my body. I may even chuckle a bit: "Ah-h-h... here you are, back again, you little bugger..." I may even touch the tips of my fingers to my chest, over my heart, as a sign to myself of my compassionate acceptance of this little demon. "Hello my little friend. And how are you this fine day?"

According to the Lojong teachings from Tibetan Buddhism, over time, this practice should result in the gradual fading away of this particular demon (or any other little demon so treated.) I don't see any evidence of that happening so far. Every day I still wake up in a fog. And while I'm taking my morning shower, my little demon pops up right on schedule! Will he eventually fade away... disgusted at the thought such compassionate treatment? I don't know. But I guess this is, perhaps, a better way to handle the little nipper than trying to do battle with him. He knows more tricks than a professional magician!