(((Catonyx)))
I have a child with special needs - I understand what you're going through. It's like you have a dream for your child and your family and yourself and it's just all taken away. Yes, you have your child, by you're still in mourning for that life that you and your child will never have now. Very few people seem to get this. The amount of times I've heard, well, so-in-so had a miscarriage or my friend who's son was stillborn... These things are awful, but don't try to tell me I have it better. A child's death is awful, but it is final. There is closure. This is a different kind of grief. It's complicated grief I guess, because I feel guilty for grieving... It feels like a betrayal of who my son is. But the grief is not about him, it's about me... I have to remember that, so I don't get resentful.