I think the issue is the conflict you feel inside of yourself. The external stimulus of having a great guy in your life is at odds with your internal dialogue of being wounded by past events.

You have been hurt, so being wary of getting hurt again is perfectly understandable. But that wariness that kept you "safe" is now getting in the way. You feel inhibited and held back.

Most of the communication between people that are face to face is non verbal. Perhaps you have been so defensive for so long that your body language has become "closed". This may explain why you feel frozen in his presence. There are many videos on Youtube that discuss the power of body language in communicating.

If your bf likes touching you and , in turn you like to be touched, then you are 99% of the way there. Hugging, touching, cuddling and holding hands are all very powerful messages that tell the other person "i feel safe with you". If you want his arms around you, then PUT his arms around you. Don't over think this. Put on some bright red lipstick and KISS his cheek. Have some fun. Best of all, you don't have to say a thing.