Hi B1005255. Welcome to pc. Having your self-esteem go to rock bottom often seems to go along with depression. I understand what you are going thru because I have felt like this so often. I am my own worst critic and it doesn't take much criticism to crush me.

I can see that you are very good at writing down your feelings. Suggestion? Try copying this post, or writing down your feelings, problems, and difficulties before going to see your therapist. Then bring what you have written to your therapist. This might be helpful. I get flustered when I go to the doctor and forget to mention things that are important, so I make a list beforehand and it helps.

Once again, welcome. Best of wishes to you.