I don't think he really understands me properly, he thinks it's my choice that I can't accept him as he is. Or he thinks I'm immature because I don't easily walk away and instead tell him I'm sad when he purposely cuts contact with me. But he neglects to remember I just wanted to be friends, and it's only because he cut contact that I felt like going back. I would be ok with a friendship, but he wouldn't. If he cuts contact I can do nothing but burn the bridge for good on my end, destroy all hope. I can't wait around and keep getting hurt. It just seems he deals with everything by being hostile and uncaring, whereas I deal with it by expressing my sadness and moping around. The thing he is right about though (and what I knew anyway) was that the incompatibility is glaringly obvious and the connection or passion we had isn't worth the hurt we cause each other.

Even though the pain is much less than it used to be all those times before, I still feel sad and lonely and I just wish the loneliness would end.