one thing that helped me was one time my therapist explained to me that therapists were not mind readers. therefore if I wanted to discuss something it was up to me to bring it up. I could do so in what ever ways I was comfortable talking about things with her. that when something hard came up to think about what things make me feel at eae/ comfortable/ less anxiety filled. if those things helped in times when I wasnt discussing hard things those same things would help during the hard times too. Something that calms me is taking my canoe out on the lake. so when it comes time to talk about hard things I close my eyes and think about a time when I was rowing my canoe on the lake. then I open my eyes and tell my therapist what I need to say. works every time.

I bet if you think about it you will find what ever helps to calm you and that will enable you to find the right way and time that is right for you.