Christmas just about put me over the edge this year. Major depression and so many losses if I wrote a book it would be too unbelievable. On New Years eve write me and we'll ring it in together. I haven't figured out the msg on this site yet and hope I can get back in again. I signed up to work the holidays because they are hell since mom died, divorcing, kids cruel and ignore me. Still I tried hard to hide the tears and am a miserable sad sack at work, trying so hard to be positive on the outside when my story is tragic and people don't know what to say to me. Listening to others talk about their merry plans when I am all alone. I am isolating and having trouble getting out of bed. Making it worse buts I am unable to fight it now, it has overcome me. No gifts from anyone this year except my husband filed another harassing divorce motion. I am being a negative, sad sack, a few small gifts from colleagues, but my family is shattered. I am terrified of being old and alone.