Today is Sunday, December 28th 2014. 3 more days and it is already 2015. Today, during lunch something happened that was a little drastic. I walked out during family lunch. What is my reason? Because of my brother. I am the only girl in the family and you should think that I am treasured or cherished even, but that is not the case. I am more bullied just because the 3 of them are boys. Yes, I have 3 older brothers. But, this time, as used as I am with my brother's teasing, this really sparked my anger and I just HAD to walk out. I wanted to leave the house but, I have nowhere place to go. What did he do for me to walk out? Well, at first my mom pinched my fat belly while eating. Though I go a little frustrated with that because I have always been fat and I am already having issues with myself because I can't seem to lose the weight continuously, she added to my frustrations towards myself. Then I saw my brother talk to his daughter, my niece aged 9, and teaching her to tease me, and I felt that he is taking away the respect there.

I mean he already is disrespecting me with his constant teasing, but I can't help but get more frustrated when he teaches his kid how to tease or even "ridicule" other people. I may be too sensitive about it, but that's how I am. He destroyed my trust and respect towards him when he read my diary and used it against me during the toughest times in my life, and to think I was even close to him. That's why I am distant from him from then on. And now, my parents are upset with me because what I did was embarrassing for the family and offensive towards his wife. I don't know, whatever it is. They may be wrong, then again they can be right. I may be right, then again I may be wrong.

But with this incident, it makes me think more on wanting to end my f*****d up life and spare all of them the misery on having to live with me. Isn't it better if I were just gone and no more headache and no more worrying on what on earth and what the f**k is she going to do next. I am sure this will backfire at me and they will just make fun of me more and distance their children from me, but then again, so what? I mean, it will not matter whether or not the kids are close to me. I'd rather not let them be close to someone like me who is always a mistake and a failure. So I am giving them a favor if I just killed myself right here and right now, RIGHT?! RIGHT!!!!! With that said, goodbye world, it's been a whirlwind meeting you…..