Hi Jeff, sorry to hear about your long time suffering. I feel similar, being around and talking to normal, happy people is a constant reminder that there's something wrong with us. Often it's making me nauseous even.

And sure, I've been feeling alone for a 10 years or so. Occasionally going outside and meeting the few people I know helps to distract my mind a bit, but ... idk.
Sometimes when talking to people, I realize that how we see the world is a skewed perception of reality.