Thanks both.

The group I go to has been frustrating. In the five years, people haven't really tried to share anything with me, and they've not been interested in me. I have to do all the work which is exhausting. Five years, and they're only just getting it. I've started getting invitations to their bigger events. Still if I don't turn up, upsettingly, all these people that call me friends, don't really seem to care too much. To make things move, I have to take the initiative and ask how they got on while I was away!

Ann is a married woman, Im a single guy. i like people in all shapes and sizes. Im an unassuming sexless kind of chap. I don't think it's too appropriate to establish a one on one friendship with a married woman like that. Not long term anyhow.

The long story is that Ann has always been sort of distant but friendly. Her and her husband never really put themselves out as much as I did, which is ironic considering my shyness and their overt confidence. I kept trying to reach out but never progressed anywhere.

Earlier in the year, Ann became so over friendly with me, it felt to me she was being suggestive, possibly flirting. Then a couple of months of months after this, she started avoiding me, couldn't make eye contact, always looked down. She said she was busy, so I chalked it down to that. She's since been quite supportive, and I've even shared a meal with her family.

Great!

That's the kind of stuff Im looking for. Trouble is the friend behaviour isn't consistent. She keeps going off the radar, so much so, I'd say her behaviour was more friendly/polite than being friends.

What am I here for? Venting really. Or maybe address the possibility that I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. I get hurt easily and when I think someone is a friend but then don't actually back that up with actions, I give up. Maybe I need to grow a thicker skin and accept this friend and do what I can do be friendly and offer friendship without being desperate. It's been hard for me to see Ann as a friend due to the stuttering up and down behaviour. It's only this person for some reason Im struggling with.