Hi 8888an8888, I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time
When you're sliding down it an be so hard to see the "bigger picture" or if you can for it to mean that much to you.
For you to have come so far/as far as you did before this spiral, there had to have been real reasons there!!! No-one could have come as far as you had/have without real reasons.
Now just remember it's the way you're feeling right now which is dictating those thoughts, and you can get support/help with that, you really can.
Now, please hang in there and allow yourself that help. You deserve it!!!
You haven't failed, you haven't "lost the battle" by what's going on for you right now, it really is understandably a very hard time for you. But you've already shown how strong you can be, that you can make it through something like this.........you just need a little more help with it right? So let your parents push for that help, push for it yourself as well if you can........because you matter!!!

Alison