None of what happened to you is your fault, do not ever blame yourself. In your circumstances it is not surprising that you feel people (in general and the system) are out to get you, you have been let down many times.

How is your relationship with your CPN? I'm in England so I know how erratic NHS care can be and getting therapy to deal with complex problems can be nigh on impossible. Do you trust your CPN enough to work with her/him on these issues, or maybe your CPN can put you in touch with one of the charities that deals with abuse.