I appreciate all of your input and am happy to know that it is possible to come out the other side...I recall becoming perfectionistic at a very young age, and with that attitude comes the feeling of not doing well enough, it can always be better. I was taught this by my parents at a young age. These patterns of thinking are so ingrained, it seems insurmountable to change it. I have always bucked the notion that I could willfully just think positively. I have joked that I wish I could have a brain transplant with a happy, content brain - if only it were that easy!

Were there exercises/lessons taught to help you folks change your thinking? I've been in talk therapy on and off all my life and though talking helps for the short term, it did nothing to create change in the long run. I am so exhausted being this way but know that I don't want to live the rest of my life this way.

When a therapist recently asked what I thought I was good at, I couldn't think of anything and began crying. Because, it's never good enough. Over Christmas I was at my parents' and asked for my grade school stuff mom had kept, grades etc.. I got As and Bs for the most part, but even now, my 83 year old mom said I could have done better if I wanted to. This is what has colored me all my life.