I always think getting things out of your head helps... posting here or a journal or a blog .. just dump it all out anyway you feel comfortable.

Its really hard when your stuck in a depressive episode. But you need to focus on the fact that Bipolar always cycles, always .. It will spit you out the other side .

Meanwhile stop chasing "happiness" aim for being content or feeling calmer. Seriously Stop beating yourself up, You may need to be more of a squeeky wheel with your Pdoc in regards of attacking your symptoms instead of just waiting them out.

Ummm Write up a bunch of positive things about yourself , yeah I know hard .. but think of when your stable how well you do things.. or goggle positive thoughts , write them down on lil slips of paper and toss in a jar. when your feeling low pull one out, just study it , maybe its a "I make a hell of a X meal" Just focus on that for the day, anytime your mind wanders to the yucky thought Stop and read that slip of paper again and again and again .

I do think it is possible at times to rattle your own cage enough to just attempt to get a grip and force yourself to do the complete opposite of what you wanna do, but thats just my opinion based of how I manage my Bp when it rears its ugly head. It's not 100% , But its good enough for me at times and I come here to PC and offer advise even when Im in a lousy place , why? it just gets me outta my own head and I can focus on helping someone else.

If Im depressed and all else fails I blast the most upbeat music I have and just lose myself in it.

I hope your feeling better very soon