Okay, so not only did i get an email from my T, a visit from my support worker, and make it out of the house to go to the library, i also had a call from the hospital saying an on-call physiotherapist was in today handling urgent cases and they could see me if i could come in at 3pm. I said yes, of course.

And then called my care manager absolutely freaking out.

Physical touch is intensely triggering for me, so even though i've been desperate for physio to start, i've also been dreading it. B. talked my anxiety down some, and i worked out some coping stuff i could do, and a rough script to explain what my issues are and what might help make it less stressful.

The session was pretty rough in places, and i was shaking and in tears at times, but was okay to keep going. Felt myself starting to dissociate at one point, but had a grounding object with me so put that to good use. Now that i've got through the first one, and there are PTSD-related notes on my file so i don't have to repeat things next time, it feels a tiny bit less frightening.

With the stat hols and weekend coming up, I have to wait a week for my next session, but i have more exercises to do in the meantime. And my trusty ice pack.

It's been a good - albeit painful - Monday!