TW - mentions of SI and SU

that's it then. i spoke to a duty worker from my psych clinic as my pdoc is away. i told her of SU intentions and SI, which was stupid but really i can't be bothered to lie anymore. i can't eat, sleep, talk properly, remember the date. i'm seeing hallucinations and hearing voices, and i'm SI-ing constantly. i can't even get dressed or walk up stairs or walk unaided.

my parents are with me, and my father spoke to the worker. he said i am going to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act (basically hospitalised against my will). i am thinking that i will go to a psychiatric ward, unit or hospital. i don't know yet. but i don't want to go to a psych ward and see other mentally ill people.

if possible i need to take my laptop so i can connect with everyone here on PC... this forum really is a great place of support.

i'm so sorry... i feel like i have let everyone down. my therapist. my family. myself. my friends. i hate being like this. i am literally trapped in my own body.

also i'm wearing my pjs, glasses and haven't showered in ages so my hair is greasy... i look a mess.

i don't even know what to do right now. i'm so sorry.