You're pretty much right there Bill3. Although it's quite difficult for me to articulate the mix of underlying feelings that come up here when thinking about this situation.

There's definitely a negative feeling that comes up when I think about her spending time with her ex. Part of this feeling is most certainly my anxiety, triggered by the fear of the unknown regarding who and how her ex really is. This part of the feeling will definitely be quelled, I trust, in time and through exposure to the thing that triggers my anxiety.

Another part of this feeling, however, feels like intuition to me. Why would her therapist make a strong recommendation that she cut all ties with her ex completely, including letting go of her dogs? I wasn't even in the picture when her therapist made this recommendation to her.

She and I had a discussion the other day about something totally unrelated where she brought up the dynamic between her and her ex. She's the only one of the two of them who's ever really invested in her own emotional and spiritual development, and is, according to her, quite capable of interacting with him without over-sharing of herself. He, on the other hand, still (even last week) tends to over-share with her about his problems/issues. She brought this up because she believes she's playing an "enabling" role of some kind with him (not too far-fetched, given her co-dependent parents).

Something about that dynamic there feels unhealthy to me, and I feel uneasy when I think about it.